Divorce and separation
A divorce is a list of decisions. We take them in order.
Most of the stress isn't the ending. It's not knowing which decision comes next, and which ones can wait. We start by sorting what has to be settled now, such as who stays in the house and how the bills get paid this month, from what can be settled later.
Many couples settle most of it outside a courtroom, sometimes with a mediator in the room. When that isn't possible, you will still know what to expect at each hearing before you walk in.
What I will ask you to gather
The date you married and the date you separated
Recent pay stubs and your last two tax returns
Statements for every bank, retirement and credit card account
A short list of what you most want to keep
What gets decided
Four questions every divorce answers
The order and the wording differ from family to family. These four do not.
Who lives where
The home, the lease or the mortgage, and where each of you will be while it is sorted out.
What you own and owe
Cars, savings, accounts, and the debts that came with them, listed and divided in writing.
Support
Whether either spouse pays the other for a time, how much, and what ends it.
Retirement and insurance
Pensions and savings that need a special order, and who keeps health coverage.
Before you file anything
What people ask me before they decide
Do I have to go to court to get divorced?
Not always. When you and your spouse agree on the main points, the court may only need papers and a short hearing. When you disagree, we prepare for the hearing and keep talking about settlement alongside it.
Does it matter who files first?
Rarely as much as people fear. What matters more is that the papers are accurate and that you understand what you are asking for. We talk through timing before anything is filed.
Can we use a mediator?
Yes, and many couples do. A mediator doesn't take a side. I can prepare you for a session and review the agreement before you sign it.
What if my spouse has stopped paying the bills?
Tell me on the first call. Some things can be asked for early, before the final order, and I will explain which and how long they usually take.
Is a legal separation different from a divorce?
It can be. A separation settles the practical questions while you remain married, which matters for health coverage and for some couples' beliefs. We look at what each choice changes.
Talk through your options before you decide
Rosalie will tell you what to expect, what it costs, and what to do this week.